Would You Rather Be Looked At Or Seen?

Most of us think we want to be noticed by others, BUT, and this is a big but, as opposed to a big butt (ok, you all have to know I’m the queen of puns and they just happen when I’m writing), being seen and being noticed are two completely different things.  Being noticed is often a kind of attention we seek when we are prepared to have others look at us via our rehearsed self-image, meaning we are dressed and dolled up or doing something we feel confident about, or projecting the expected facade, but being seen is an entirely different story.

Being seen means being noticed when we are exposing our real selves.  In some ways, being truly seen can be more vulnerable than being physically naked.  Being seen means we are our authentic selves, unfettered, unrehearsed, bare-faced, bare-assed, unadorned.  

Being seen is when our inside beauty is radiating outward and that is what gets us noticed, and once we are noticed from that magnetism, others can actually SEE YOU.

More importantly, YOU SEE YOU, maybe not visually always, but you feel you deep in your soul, which is a profound kind of vision.  You feel alive and disconnected from social and societal and personal edicts about how you should be.  In essence, you’re  totally free.

This kind of being seen can be so uncomfortable.  In fact, I think we spend most of our lives avoiding being seen and prefer the coached, approved,  social media ready version I described.  It’s where we feel comfortable as it conforms more to what is expected of us and how we want to measure up compared to others we admire. Or how we belive we must show up to be valued.

But that kind of being comfortable is the most uncomfortable way to live your life.

It’s a rare thing to notice being looked at when you are in a state of being seen, because when we are in a state of being seen, we actually tend to disappear to ourselves, because we become one with our truth, and the desire for approval and acknowledgment from being physically observed doesn’t matter at all to us.   In those moments, we are just BEING.

When someone truly sees you, you could care less what they see.  And that’s the magic of letting go of the need to be looked at.

Ladies, we tend to live our lives in a constant state of wanting to be noticed, looked at, appproved of, BY OTHERS.  The entire youth-focused beauty industry is all about pandering to our insecurities and our learned need to be approved of FROM THE OUTSIDE.  Imagine what would happen to that entire industry if we stopped giving even half a fuck about how we look, FIRST.  Or about staying young FOREVER.  It would upend the economy.  That’s how much revenue is built around our fear of aging and the need to be “beautiful.”  I put that in quotes because society’s version of beauty is not one we should aspire to.  In fact, our constant kowtowing to it is why we women have so much self-loathing, low self-esteem, focus on how our bodies look, depression, loneliness, pharmaceutical drug use, and so much more.

We yearn to be seen, but at best we are looked at.

Being seen is all about experiencing YOURSELF from the inside out, and from that place you’re actually seen by the world around you.  

When you are seen by someone not looking at a screen of some sort, in those moments you are acknowledged and valued for who you really are.  When you’re seen while really being you, you also gift the person looking at you with a kind of unspoken energy that transmits true beauty as a frequency.  I believe this kind of transmission activates something between the one seen and the one seeing. 

But what matters most is that you value you beyond the shell of your body, no matter how beautiful it may be.  Physical beauty fades, but inner beauty grows and expands when we nourish our essence.  

In my humble opinion, even with aging, physical beauty can intensify when we see ourselves through the lens of feminine wisdom, beauty and power.

I always try to leave you with questions, as the questions shape the journey, not the answers we receive to the questions.  I hope you’ll take the time to reflect on this idea and ask yourself sincerely: Would I rather be looked at or seen?  Why? Who am I to myself?  How much value am I putting on how I look and other people’s approval, even those I’ve never met (aka social media approval)?  If I were truly honest in my life, how would I live?  What face would I show the world that’s a true reflection of who I am?

Femine power is beauty from within…This is a truth I live and teach.  We women need to come home to this deep and even esoteric truth.  We have to stop exploiting our own bodies, and use them as the power sources they are, and as ancient women’s wisdom has always taught.  We must come home to these truths.   It’s my joy and my passion to help you arrive at this place of being truly seen.  I have many offerings here on my website to support you on your journey.  My coaching is my deepest offering that is guaranteed to get you home to you.  I also have many blog posts here to support you on your journey.  As well as my book.

By joining my mailing list (see below), you’ll also get monthly reflections, suggestions, resources and support from me.  At a minimum, spend some time here on  my blog.  I promise it will inspire and support you.

For any men reading this, there’s something here for you too, and I invite you to pass this along to the women you know as well.

I hope that my words and my heart on this virtual page have opened a portal inside you that will lead you home to your bright, brilliant, beautiful self, as only YOU can define that beauty.   And reach out if you need support, it’s why I do what I do.

Much Love,

Gina Cloud